All kinds of unforeseen events wait lurking to surprise you and make you glad you're alive

The supreme happiness of life is the conviction of being loved for yourself, or, more correctly speaking, loved in spite of yourself.
-Victor Hugo

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.

Tick.

I am someone underestimates her friends much too much.

I anticipated that I'd turn twenty two on my stomach, in my bed, continuing my marathon Gossip Girl (shut up) watching session. My hair would be in a towel, as I'd be wet from a shower, and my face would have a mask on. My toes would be painted a new shiny color, my laundry and ironing freshly done. I'd have just finished some hot cocoa and I'd be getting ready for bed.

You know.

All the details thrown in, topped up with being alone.

Instead. Ah. Instead.

I definitely wasnt alone. Nor was I in bed.

And of course, no mask!

It was nothing grand. But goodness, was I not left a little extra happy for it all..?

Tick. Tock.

World, I'm twenty two today and I have a lot to be thankful for.

The room was filled with conversations we weren’t having.

"He looks like a child with a lot of makeup." – Jessica Alba, on meeting Zac Efron at the 2007 Teen Choice Awards (where they both won hottie of the year).

My colleague has been living under a rock. I was singing 'SexyBack' and an assorted number of Mr Timberlake's work, and she had never heard of any of them. Fine. I tried Shakira's Hips Don't Lie. Blank stare. Ok, maybe Im rushing her.

So I try random song lyrics.

Mas que nada? If I lay here? Please stay for a while now? Go to rehab but I said no no no? Hoping that you believed in superstition? I'm yours? You know what I want, I got what you need? Just like an angel in my life? No one, no one?

And I get the same blank stare.

I am flabbergasted and upset and am burning her a cd to listen to tomorrow!!!

Sometimes I believe firmly with all my heart that I have my life under control. Then one thing after another hits and I'm caught in a current of trials, and blessings which one can only proclaim as being mixed.



I don't have it under control. I get it. All I can do is go with what I hope are the right decisions and pray nothing I do ends up having any majorly grave circumstances.



Hey. I have been through much worse.








All I want to do is never get out of bed some days, and you know thats strange coming from I who never likes to sleep. Im lethargic, and I blame it on me being spoiled and being driven to work over the Christmas season because I was essentially house sitting a dear aunty's place. Plant water-er extraordinaire and prime fish feeder that I am, my skills were clearly put to good use. Not to mention my two housemates had both left me ALONE while they were off on vacation, so staying elsewhere was a bit of a distraction from the immense loneliness I would have felt otherwise.



Now, I had always said walking to work and back (my apartment is literally 6 minutes away if I speed walk, but I don't as I would you know, sweat) had been my only exercise. And its true, I've discovered, as I put on weight being driven back and forth work, plus not to mention eating out all the time or having meals at my aunty's place.






Living on my own has actually done me good. Zip back to my room in my current home, where my kitchen's groceries are usually expired by the time I deign to try to cook (yes, I rely on fruits and takeaway or eating out, so sue me if I can't be bothered cooking!), where its walking distance to church, where the stairs are a crazy 4 storey climb (again, exercise!), where one housemate is still not back and the other may be moving out, so I am essentially living alone. Which has its perks. You who live alone know what I mean and if you have never lived alone, you won't know, so no point making you jealous.



I think I need to get my license. For real. Its depressing and it should be a goal before I turn 23.





My Christmas and my new year pics need to be up soon. I'm still trying to destroy the evidence er filter through and get actual good pictures.





Oh, beach plans finally went through on Sunday, after Sunday upon Sunday's of failed beach attempts! The community I serve with arranged it and I tagged along for the fun..yes, it explains the random pictures. I totally had a sarong thing planned but then I remembered what country I was in and how so out of place it would be on beach here so...yeah.











...It ended up around my waist instead.



Thats Cathy, Ate Lisa, Analiza and Hazel. Theyre bunch of strong women, and Im glad to have gotten to know them over the past few months. Its hard living where the shadows of my past follow me every corner (you know, omgosh, my friends and I had parties *there* and my mommy used to take me *there* and my daddy and i used to date *there* where I was 9 and lil bro john and I used to walk *there* when we were kids etc etc). So I'm glad Im making friends who are helping me move on to the present and the future.



Chinese New Year is coming up. Which means two days off work. Which means. *nudge nudge* Stephanie, if you are reading this, DUMMY, contact me!!



*ahem* ;)



She knows I adore her absolutely.



Don't you?



Not to be morbid or anything, and not that I put any stock whatsoever in palm reading, it gets very disconcerting when the umpteenth person who grabs my hand and tried to 'read' my life lines or whathave you, looks at me worriedly and informs me I'll have a short life.



Every other thing changes here and there but never my life span. Well, I'm not too worried, and I'm hopeful it will be longer than apparently what's been written in my palms, for I am firm that its the quality of the life you live and the quantity and the love you share thats important. And thats all I'm saying on this matter.



Kick me if I ever bring it up again.

…for it is morning; it is morning and there is so much to see.

I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle... But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.



Marilyn Monroe



There's nothing like being shrouded in morning light. I always used to hate waking up early, due to my late nights. But ever so slowly, I suppose I have come to accept that when youre working an 8 to 5 job (that stretches from as early as 7 to as late as 9 sometimes), you do need your rest, or your *gulp* productivity at work is affected.

But who am I kidding? Its 1 in the morning as I type this, and Im trying to finish report due and Im blogging and the tv is blasting in the background and the washing machine is churning out my second load of the night.

There's a second kind of morning light, which is the darkness that comes after 12 am. Its still morning and yet its not. I am most active at this time of night, my brain works on overdrive and I want to do do do do so many things. I feel the fatigue and I know I should be asleep. But I can't help it.

I am torn in the knowledge that it is too late to be awake and too early yet to be asleep.

Even if I did fall asleep while playing X Box last night.

Beach didnt happen. :(

I haven't read a good book for so long. I need to wander into Best Eastern and get something as Im suffering from reading withdrawal.

Yes, it exists.

I really do have love to give, I just don't know where to put it

"I heard a nice little story the other day," Morrie says.

He closes his eyes for a moment and I wait.

"Okay. The story is about a little wave, bobbing along in the ocean, having a grand old time. He's enjoying the wind and the fresh air-until he notices the other waves in front of him, crashing against the shore.

"'My God, this is terrible,' the wave says. 'Look what's going to happen to me!'"

Then along comes another wave. It sees the first wave, looking grim, and it says to him, 'Why do you look so sad?'"

The first wave says, 'You don't understand! We're all going to crash! All of us waves are going to be nothing! Isn't it terrible?'

"The second wave says, 'No, you don't understand. You're not a wave, you're part of the ocean.'"

Tuesdays With Morrie - Mitch Albom


Ten years ago, I led the countdown to a new year in my uncle's house, visiting them in the US. It was my first winter and my first sight (and feel) of snow and all the cliche's you see in the movies.

Eight years ago, while the adults were off, my friends and I jumped on hotel beds in Malaysia, as we welcomed in a new year.

Two years ago, my cousins and I clutched our drinks in the Philippines, cheering each other on and happily ringing in the new year with gusto.

A year ago, two friends and I went on a search for the most random party in Australia. One went home far too early but the one left with me, we rang in the new year queueing to get into a club, with fireworks brightening up the night sky.

Last night in Brunei, I was in Mass, and singing a song as I was being nudged by friends, pointing out that indeed, it really was 2008 (After which, I discovered that watermelons don't really fare well when you attempt to funnel foreign liquids into them just for kicks and found the perfect song to sing on those karaoke things that is always guaranteed to give me a good score but those are stories and a party tale for another time).

However you choose to ring in the new year, they say its often how the rest of the year will turn out. I've never been a believer of this, but it can't hurt.

There are so many things I'd like to get done or happen this year.

And Happy Feet and Johnny were thrown in just for kicks.

Heya 2008, I hope youre not as draining as 2007!