The room was filled with conversations we weren’t having.

"He looks like a child with a lot of makeup." – Jessica Alba, on meeting Zac Efron at the 2007 Teen Choice Awards (where they both won hottie of the year).

My colleague has been living under a rock. I was singing 'SexyBack' and an assorted number of Mr Timberlake's work, and she had never heard of any of them. Fine. I tried Shakira's Hips Don't Lie. Blank stare. Ok, maybe Im rushing her.

So I try random song lyrics.

Mas que nada? If I lay here? Please stay for a while now? Go to rehab but I said no no no? Hoping that you believed in superstition? I'm yours? You know what I want, I got what you need? Just like an angel in my life? No one, no one?

And I get the same blank stare.

I am flabbergasted and upset and am burning her a cd to listen to tomorrow!!!

Sometimes I believe firmly with all my heart that I have my life under control. Then one thing after another hits and I'm caught in a current of trials, and blessings which one can only proclaim as being mixed.



I don't have it under control. I get it. All I can do is go with what I hope are the right decisions and pray nothing I do ends up having any majorly grave circumstances.



Hey. I have been through much worse.








All I want to do is never get out of bed some days, and you know thats strange coming from I who never likes to sleep. Im lethargic, and I blame it on me being spoiled and being driven to work over the Christmas season because I was essentially house sitting a dear aunty's place. Plant water-er extraordinaire and prime fish feeder that I am, my skills were clearly put to good use. Not to mention my two housemates had both left me ALONE while they were off on vacation, so staying elsewhere was a bit of a distraction from the immense loneliness I would have felt otherwise.



Now, I had always said walking to work and back (my apartment is literally 6 minutes away if I speed walk, but I don't as I would you know, sweat) had been my only exercise. And its true, I've discovered, as I put on weight being driven back and forth work, plus not to mention eating out all the time or having meals at my aunty's place.






Living on my own has actually done me good. Zip back to my room in my current home, where my kitchen's groceries are usually expired by the time I deign to try to cook (yes, I rely on fruits and takeaway or eating out, so sue me if I can't be bothered cooking!), where its walking distance to church, where the stairs are a crazy 4 storey climb (again, exercise!), where one housemate is still not back and the other may be moving out, so I am essentially living alone. Which has its perks. You who live alone know what I mean and if you have never lived alone, you won't know, so no point making you jealous.



I think I need to get my license. For real. Its depressing and it should be a goal before I turn 23.





My Christmas and my new year pics need to be up soon. I'm still trying to destroy the evidence er filter through and get actual good pictures.





Oh, beach plans finally went through on Sunday, after Sunday upon Sunday's of failed beach attempts! The community I serve with arranged it and I tagged along for the fun..yes, it explains the random pictures. I totally had a sarong thing planned but then I remembered what country I was in and how so out of place it would be on beach here so...yeah.











...It ended up around my waist instead.



Thats Cathy, Ate Lisa, Analiza and Hazel. Theyre bunch of strong women, and Im glad to have gotten to know them over the past few months. Its hard living where the shadows of my past follow me every corner (you know, omgosh, my friends and I had parties *there* and my mommy used to take me *there* and my daddy and i used to date *there* where I was 9 and lil bro john and I used to walk *there* when we were kids etc etc). So I'm glad Im making friends who are helping me move on to the present and the future.



Chinese New Year is coming up. Which means two days off work. Which means. *nudge nudge* Stephanie, if you are reading this, DUMMY, contact me!!



*ahem* ;)



She knows I adore her absolutely.



Don't you?



Not to be morbid or anything, and not that I put any stock whatsoever in palm reading, it gets very disconcerting when the umpteenth person who grabs my hand and tried to 'read' my life lines or whathave you, looks at me worriedly and informs me I'll have a short life.



Every other thing changes here and there but never my life span. Well, I'm not too worried, and I'm hopeful it will be longer than apparently what's been written in my palms, for I am firm that its the quality of the life you live and the quantity and the love you share thats important. And thats all I'm saying on this matter.



Kick me if I ever bring it up again.