Too much of your twenties can be wasted on insecurity and worrying about what others think

And, after all, what is a lie? 'Tis but the truth in masquerade.
-- Lord Byron

Its been a turbulent past few weeks, and there's been a few shifts and re shifts of people I once considered my friends and those I considered my not so friends. Turns out, when I put people in clear cut boxes like that, I was wrong.

You'd think I would and should know about true friendship by now, but I still get surprised when my definition of it is in question. It would seem that even at 23, I can somehow manage to still get it all so wrong.

And yet, I'm glad I was wrong. I learned the hard way, and yet I learned. Its better learning than not learning at all. I have to re-learn you see, because I have moved so much, left so many people, had so many people leave me, that its hard realising when I am stationary for longer than 6 months at any given place, friend dynamics? They change.

I just need to wrap my head around the fact that friendships do evolve beyond the superficial and I am quite appreciative of the current crop of people I consider my friends right now. And I hope they consider me their friend too.

Because you guys truly are and no matter what, I will carry you in my heart always.

**


I had a girls night the other night and it was practically sinful what we ate! But we didnt care, we threw all care out the window and it was such a great night. I had not had a proper girl talk with these girls for a long time and it was really good relearning and learning what make them tick. They are such a strong and beautiful bunch of women and I am so proud to have them in my life. Together, we will make it on this crazy path of life, and even if not together, I hope we have already made an impact on each other that will stand the test of time and memories.

**

He told me he would never leave me.

My fear is that he has already left.

**


My parents just celebrate 32 years of marriage together. Thirty Two Years.


Latest pic I have, I pulled it of facebook! They met Bishop briefly during his last visit.

They dont make marriage like they used to! Now thats a love I wish to emulate.

..they are getting more facebook savvy, however, and my mom has said she wants to put up her 21 year old pic. Oh man oh man...technology these days!

**

I am getting older and things I used to enjoy no longer hold the same mystique or fascination. I get annoyed at people who constantly talk about getting drunk just because they have nothing better to do (dont get me wrong, Im cool with it once in a while but to do it constantly and NOT in moderation just screams of not being able to let your youth go doesnt it, or trying too hard?). I am annoyed at cliques. I am annoyed at loud music and loud sounds hurt my ears. I like quiet nights in. I need my sleep. I cant go without it anymore. I eat breakfast. I think this generation has a gaping lack of good music and movies and books. I wish they had what I had. I wear what I want and not what I think people think I should (if that makes sense).

I want to be more practical now. I want to make my future tangible. I want to commit to my obligations.

Its official. Its a proclamation I don't deny anymore.


I am getting old.

And there's something almost poetic about coming to terms with that.