one good thing about being young is that you are not experienced enough to know you cannot possibly do the things you are doing.

Procrastination is like masturbation. It seems like a good idea at the time, but in the end you’re really only fucking yourself.- Unknown

You could say I was born a procrastinator.

When I was a kid, I didnt want to walk because I wanted my parents to lug me around for as long as I could stretch it.

Okay, maybe not really, but I can imagine the kid in me doing that.

I put off doing laundry till all Im left with are completely mismatched tops and skirts (which I would then attempt to pull off and say it was 'style'). I put off doing groceries till all I have to eat are a hopefully edible mishmash of whatever's left (which could range from tuna in meegoreng or honey and hot dogs) in my ref that doesnt seem to be past its expiry date.

At uni, I put off doing assignments until I'm forced to stay up with pillows and take away meals in the relevant computer lab and rushing to finish the work on an adrenaline rush. Even my group work or other submissions havent been spared and I've often fell back on sugar induced rushes just to get something submitted on time.

I lived on no sleep.

Some of my work submitted after a rush was often some of my best work.

Nowadays, I crave sleep so much, it worries me. If I don't have more than 6 hours a night, its so difficult for me to crawl out of bed.

When I was 17 in uni, I scoffed at a 21 year old who told me that though he liked his party nights, he had to cut down some because he couldnt go on no sleep like he used to. I literally scoffed. Then I find out at 21, Im feeling the very same thing.

And on a random note of sorts, after a birthday party last night, I have discovered I drink more than my older brother. Random, but true. I wonder what that means.

Life is getting in full swing again, and I'm enjoying the liberty (and limitations) of earning my own money. My mother always wants to save me but I told her I'm done with relying on them for money. Them, being my mom and dad. They've sacrificed loads for me and its high time I get my bum in gear and slowly be the one helping them out, rather than the other way around. And it makes me happy to know I'm slowly becoming financially independant.

Even if not emotionally.

I miss my parents so.

I have a lot of Brunei people I'd like to catch up with when life slows down, and it will be quite interesting to see just how much more different-or similar- we all are after the years apart. I've seen a random face here and there, and most claim to not realise its me, which Im sure, is either an insult or flattery, so lets just be vain for a sec and take that as a compliment.