A lie can be halfway round the world before the truth has even got its pants back on

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say goodbye

The Call- Regina Spektor

I am very harshly against the thought of goodbyes.

Or should I say, at the thought of being the one left behind? Im used to leaving people.

There have been a lot of answered prayers lately.

Life is going as well as it can be, and Im getting into my routine of 8 to 5 work (which stretches to seven on most days!), the occasional social event, church activities and lots of me time when I can spare it. My days used to be scattered with moments where I chased temporary highs, and while I admit I look back on those days with a fondness that could break your heart if you knew how fond, these days, I can't really afford to, with all the plan plan plans and expectations of me thrown around.

Expectations to succeed. Alarmingly high, from family, friends, peers, strangers.

And expectations to fail. Alarmingly high, from family, friends, peers, strangers.

I used to live for the expectations. To prove them wrong. To prove them right. But now, I just..live. As best as I can, I live.

Its hard. You know? Knowing you have only yourself to blame? Putting full responsibility on yourself for the choices you make. Lol.

You know that feeling, where theres calm before the storm?

Its calm for me now. Alarmingly so. In all aspects of the word, its calm. But I can feel the storm brewing. I am a born optimist, but have recently become an idealist, which, Im afraid is due to a lot of life changing events in the recent history of my life.

But my world is simple.

So don't step into it right now.

It just might break.