Never regret anything; because at one point it was exactly what you wanted

The moment when you first wake up in the morning is the most wonderful of the 24 hours. No matter how weary or dreary you may feel, you possess the certainty that, during the day that lies before you, absolutely anything may happen. And the fact that it practically always doesn't matters not a jot. The possiblity is always there.~ Monica Baldwin



'Tawad' is the vernacular used in Philippines to mean haggling for the best price for items mostly sold by outdoor vendors. On my first day, I got ripped off and lest just say I paid the first price I was offered, and was happy because in my head, the conversion rate seemed to fare better for me, but when I showed and told my cousins, they said I totally overpaid!



So, I got my own back and managed to haggle my way down to a really ridiculously cheap price for another item about a week later, and this made me feel proud, and after throwing in a jeepney + lrt + fx + triky ride, I felt oh so Filipino.



Ah, to be Filipino.



Over the years, my family has tried to be Filipino, but growing up in Brunei, and furthering my studies overseas, and on vacation not going home but travelling as far as Canada and as near as Thailand and only ever visiting the Philippines about 5 times my entire life since I left it when I was 2, I've struggled when people ask me about the Philippines and speak to me in tagalog (I only really learned to speak it fluently when I went to university and made filipino friends who were proud of the language and strived to make me as Pinoy as they were). I am proud of being Filipino, and join in the cheers when Manny pacquaio and Lea salonga,and even half filos like Enrique Iglesias and Cassie make the headlines.



But on my trip back to process my work papers (which is a bitch that I'll tell you about next time), I was quite surprised at how much I didnt feel at home. Sure, when my cousins were around, it was hilarious, and we had a blast and a half, but I didnt feel at home otherwise.



It was fun, it was a good vacation and I suppose I really have no point except that I find it sad in retrospect that things like how commuting is a science, traffic is common, beggars are a syndicate, seeing Philippine stars live in crazy americanized places like Eastwood and so on were my joy and my thinking the smog was fog and so on were a novelty for me. I mean, they shouldnt be novelties. Novelties are for tourists, and I am a Filipino by nationality so I am not really a tourist.



Technically.



I dont know if Ill work in the Philippines. The metropolitan lifestyle appeals to me. Well, if I ever do end up back in the Philippines, I think I'd be up for the challenge of really being Filo and not being so, what do u call me brumalaysiawashed?



On that vein of thought, where have I always felt at home in? Brunei. I grew up in Brunei, and am familiar with the culture and the people and the place. I dont feel like a stranger in Brunei and I've got so much family in Brunei that it almost makes up for the fact my parents are in KK. And the geographical distance of the two is so slight, it makes me happy. I have moved around like a nomad so much that I needed some familiarity!



If you paused at processing work papers, you read right. I really did want a job in Kota Kinabalu, primarily because I wanted to be with my parents and continue serving in the community there, but alas, it wasnt meant to be, and despite my certainty that I didnt want to work for another few months, I had suddenly two job offers, one in Brunei and one in Singapore,jobs which I had applied for ages before I decided I didnt want to work first but wanted to help my dad do his thing. So anyway, I was phone interviewed and face interviewed and offered the jobs and I had to decide quickly.



Really really quickly.



Next thing I knew was in the Philippines tawading in the midst of walking my papers.



I picked Brunei. Im hoping I made the right choice. Of course I've taken flack for picking Brunei, zero career growth bleah bleha bleah. Whatever. Its near KK and its a job I want, in a company Im pleased to be a part of, in an industry that doesnt bore me (I mean, hello, accounting is not exactly rainbows and butterflies. Enough said.), and its better money than I thought I'd get and with the current degree of localization, its a miracle I even got it. Praise God!



Of course, with my parents out of Brunei, I have to do that thing where I have to find a place to live, do my own laundry, make my own meals bleah bleah all over again! Its kinda like university life, only this time I get paid for it and have to fork out for my own rent and living expenses at the same time.

Someone asked me if Brunei would bore me. I think its sort of a penance in a way, my working in a noncitylike city, for all the things I've done during my university life. Haha. I joke. Its time to buckle down and earn my own money again. I love making my own money.



In other news, I've gained weight yet again because eating in the Philippines is a treat in itself, with everything being much cheaper and so much more varieties to be had. I was quite excited and my quest to eat healthier was easily forgotten.



I told my colleague about my weight gain and she laughed at me and told me to enjoy because I have so much pending work at the office that I'm sure to lose the weight. Hah. Ha. Not. How simply nice of her to put things into perspective!