when all you know gets left behind

When everything you have goes away
You realize that nothing means a thing



Everything you thought was a big deal
Now you see it all and what is real





When all you have just falls apart
And nothing seems to work out right
And you’re trying




You’re still alright





When everything starts to feel the same
And everyone around you seems to change






You went along with me when things weren’t right
And when the morning slowly fades to night




When all you have just falls apart
And nothing seems to work out right
And you’re trying















You’re still alright
Yeah youre still alright
Yeah youre still alright
And youre still alright.

*Lyrics from Still Alright- Adam Mirren/Merrin

no one's a virgin. life screws us all

If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are, you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you?
Not Much.
–Jim Rohn

I've had the same phone, a quaint Motorola c350, since I started my first year in Curtin. I broke its predecessor by accidentally leaning on its screen with my elbow, otherwise I probably would still have that phone, a Motorola c330, till today too. The reasoning Ive always had is, why ger a new phone that has alll nifty features when I could have a proper camera, proper mp3 player and so on? Plus, Im absurdly sentimental bout a few things in my life, and while I can chuck away most things, my phone wasnt one of them.

It was my faithful companion over the years for many memorable and even unmemorable events in my life. Lol.

Till it died!!THE NEXT DAY!

There I was, confidentally telling all th friends who expressed disbelief that I still had the same phone, lol, that my phone was the bomb and would never break down on me, it was awesome etc etc...

To have to NOT EVEN WANT TO TURN ON THE NEXT DAY.

DAMN IT! The night I praised it to its fullest was the night it decided AHAHAHAMUWAHAHAHAHAH, she praised me! FINALLY! I CAN DIE PEACEFULLY.

AND IT DID! DIE! WAH!

In the middle of my Miri stint! Which left me phoneless, so I couldt contact lots of people whose numbers I had saved to the phone, not the sim card. This is my reason for not contacting a whole lot of you :(

It was pretty surreal, though, being back in Miri and at uni and Miri town and everyones houses and bunking over. Man oh man, I wish I didnt have to leave so soon!

But overall, I met the people I wanted to meet, even bloggers! But darn I didnt have my cam with me at that point.

I took lots of pictures. It was very bittersweet, and if blogger wasnt being such a bitch, you'd all get to see them now too-_-

For the now, I must sleep. I really am very tired.

a lover's quarrel with the world

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

That was quite fun, mostly because it was about me. You all should try it out, its pretty fun and if u concentrate a little, maybe will shedsome light on yourself for you. Or ya know, just enjoy the pretty pictures.

"Some people, me included, believe that punk is just the most recent manifestation of this, this spirit, this feeling, you know, that things aren't right and that in fact things are so wrong that the only thing we can do is to say Fuck It, over and over again, really loud, until someone stops us." -from the book The Time Traveler's Wife

I'm not a very big fan of punk at all, but I liked the quote above.

Neither am I very angry with the world, on the contrary, Im usually so at bliss with it despite many many things Ive been told over and over again by different people I should be questioning and be angry about, but Im so at bliss that I wonder myself sometimes if I had an overdose of the happy drugz when I was a kid.

I travel down to Miri in a few days, for I deferred my graduation ceremony there. When I was deciding where to graduate, it was pretty tempting to pick Perth or Sydney, or Singapore or heck, even the Hong Kong campus, because, hey, why the hell not? Its just a ceremony, after all, I just walk down the frickin stage. But I decided that I started in Miri. I may as well end my uni life as I know it there too.

Besides, its the perfect excuse to have a mini reunion,and surviving in Miri wouldnt have been possible without the people Im about to say hello and goodbye to this week. Its been shweet.

He thinks Im the tomato sauce in every dish. Aw. Okay, it sounds funky, but I thought, at the time, it was cute :P

Anyway, I think I have trichotillomania. Damn it.

the twinge of what should be

“When you finally go back to your old hometown, you find it wasn't the old home you missed but your childhood” Sam Ewing

Lamest Reply To a Cute Guy Asking Me IF I DRIVE How I'm Going Home And DO I NEED A RIDE?

"Oh, dont worry, my dad's coming to pick me up any minute now."

DUMB, IZZAH, DUMB! ACCEPT RIDE NEXT TIME OFFERED, OKAY!?!

Dumb!

So, I zoom back to Brunei every now and again, but its not my home anymore.

My older brother works there, with my sister in law, my uncle and my cousin in laws husband. My younger brother still gets his teeth done there, and the car we use is under a Brunei permit, which needs renewing every few months so hence, the parents make a trip down there every month or so, and I tag along often, or at least, twice since I've arrived back.

But wow, how it doesnt feel like home anymore.

I mean, you'd think it would. You really think it would, what with me having spent a good 15 years or my formative life in Brunei, from kindy to primary to secondary school. Heck, I first started studying in Brunei. I hit puberty and learned to read and write and even discovered alcohol and dancing in Brunei. Ive made some of my most unforgettable friends in Brunei, friends I am in touch with and cherish to this day. I started'hanging out' in Brunei. I received my religious education and formed my spiritual back bone in Brunei, I spent a LONG TIME in Brunei, so you would think visiting Brunei would hit me hard whenever I went to it.

But no.

It hits me the other extreme actually. It hits me so soft that I dont feel anything but almost numbness when I'm in Brunei, other than the twinge of aw, thats where I used to hang out.

Which should be ridiculous, right? Since thats where I grew up.

Then that quote hit me.

And I guess what I miss isnt the place. Its my childhood more than anything that I miss.

I don't think I want to go back to being a child though. As lame as it sounds, Im really pretty much all geared up to be the best adult I can be.

But I believe a little bout of nostalgia is okay,now and again.

..even if the child in me wants to bust out with bubble gum and matching mickey mouse shorts and shirt and barbie dolls, looking for those yummy wafer sticks and captain planet episodes.